Potty Training Tales

Now, I know that I am treading on very thin ice by writing this post, but I feel like I need to really document what I'm going through, because if I hear one more person say, "HOW OLD ARE THEY? And they're not potty trained yet?!" or "My daughter was potty trained in 3 days, it really works!" or any variation of the two, I may have to carve my eardrums out with a spoon. And I know that there HAVE to be other people out there who feel the same...Right???

Because we have been potty training since July.  JULY.  Almost SIX MONTHS of my 35th year of life have revolved around sitting on the floor of our bathroom, cleaning up pee/poop/combopeepoop off of the floor, talking about potty training, thinking about potty training, wishing for potty training, praying for potty training...You get the point.

And for as many articles I as read about making this a "magical experience" for my toddlers, something that should NOT bring them any stress or strife, I, myself, am SO. FREAKIN. STRESSED. OUT. about potty training that I can't see straight sometimes.

Now, today and Sunday, we had two small number 2 victories with our two 2 year olds. On Sunday, Emma, through tears and pushing and screaming and crying, pooped on the big girl potty.  And Jane followed suit today.  In the words of a fellow beloved MoM, "Ah, the things we get excited about."

But, for reals.  If I have to wipe one more adult poop that has been smeared across a little tiny adorable heiney by a diaper, I may lose my marbles.

The reality of the situation is, when you have multiple children of the same age in one household, your diaper budget is astronomical. I use Amazon Mom & Prime and Subscribe & Save, and I still spend over $100 a month on diapering needs.  I mean, once my kids are potty trained, Hershey and I may be able to GO OUT TO EAT once a month.  On a DATE! Woahhhh, guys.

So here's how our journey has gone. Last summer, at the urging of my mother, who had me potty trained at 1 year old, we bought the girls potty seats.  However, we didn't have much luck with them at ALL. So our goal for this year, and this summer to be more specific, was to get the girls potty trained before returning to school in September. I had it all planned out. We were going to do the three day method before leaving for our annual vacation in Avalon. Everyone said it worked. I was prepped for victory. We had the potty chairs, 7 pairs of undies per girl, rugs picked up, and no where to go. 

Well, the first day, everyone screamed and cried, including me. One girl would pee all over the floor, and as I was running her up to the potty, Hershey would stay downstairs and clean up the mess, as the other peed on the floor right next to him. And then there were the poopy UNDIES.  Nothing more disgusting, people. I'm not kidding. Or exaggerating.

I quickly gave up on the 3 day method.

We went the rest of the summer with trial and error. Some days, they would be excited to pee on the potty, and would wear their undies for most of the day without incident. Other days was a free-for-all. We tried bribery with candy. We tried sticker charts. We got the potty books. We got a new potty seat with a matching stoolWe literally tried.it.all.

By the end of the summer, Hershey and I had been defeated by the wills of our daughters. They went back to school in their Pull Ups (which was the ONLY successful transition we were able to make).

Last week, at our 2.5 year check up, our doctor advised that we go at their pace. Right now they are pretty good at wearing their undies all day at home, and we can even go out for an hour or two at a time with them in their undies without any accidents. But when it comes to day care and the Grandma Squad houses, they are not havin' it. 

So this week, we decided to use some begging and bargaining tactics. The girls have been asking Santa for a pink and purple puppy for WEEKS, so when Hershey and I sat down on Black Friday weekend and ordered a set of pink and purple puppies for the girls' stockings for Christmas, I immediately began using them as leverage. Not one of my proudest moments, BUT, on Sunday, it worked.  

"Emma, if you go poopy on the potty, I will give you a purple puppy..."


"Don't you want that purple puppy? I could give it to you right now, if you go poopy on the potty..."

*Pushing, grunting, straining*


I cried.  And called everyone I knew. And sent text messages to the rest.

Because this was the beginning of no more poopy diapers for me. No more garbage cans that smell like shit (literally). 


Today, I am sick as a dog and home with the girls, but Janey gave me the best Xmas present of all...

She got her pink puppy today.

(Don't judge her outfit, she picked it out herself.)

My best advice for potty training?  THERE IS NO GOOD ADVICE FOR POTTY TRAINING. Be prepared to go at their pace, and to understand that you will NEVER WIN. And the more you push them, the less they want to go. And the harder it will be to get them to go. 

I did stumble upon a GREAT podcast this week called Twin Talks that talks about Twinning, and there are at least 2 podcasts on their channel that speak directly to gear and training, and it was helpful to hear other women who have struggled with this same issue. I found these great toilet seats that I've asked my mom to get us for Christmas (I know, exciting, right?!) through listening to this podcast, so I would definitely recommend it for those of you getting ready to embark on this WILD ride.

Today, I have probably spent a total of at least 2 hours just sitting on the floor of the bathroom. I definitely lost 2-3 pounds running up and down the stairs for false alarms, and I'm EXHAUSTED. But both girls pooped on the potty today, and we only had one accident (and she was standing in FRONT of the potty, getting ready to go when she couldn't hold it anymore, so I count that as a WIN).

Now on to the next stage: Venturing out for the day in undies.  

Cross your fingers for us.

Happy Hump Day, peeps!