My Transformation

That word always seems trite to me. Hokey. Transformation. Am I a robot? Did I undergo surgery? I mean, there are so many implications with that word, and it gets thrown around like confetti. 

Synonyms for Transform: alter, reconstruct, convert, mold, mutate...

But I guess it describes what has happened to me over the last 10 years pretty well. And forget about the past 3 years. Transformative.

Ok so I guess that the easiest way to do this is in pictures.  

This is who I WAS:


And THEN...

This is about the time that I realized that my name had changed. I mean, I've changed my name a few times in my life, but this time was different. This time, I had no choice. This time, I didn't go to the Social Security offices in Hackensack, there were no papers signed. It just happened. I had become 


I didn't even know this person. She hid behind 2 adorable toddlers. Her face was often obscured in photos, hidden by adorable little cherub faces that always needed something. Needed a nose wipe. Needed food. Needed new clothing. Needed a bath. Needed. Needed. NEEDED.

What I needed no longer mattered. It didn't RATE. 

So when my husband looked at me in 2016 and said, "I know I've gotten the last couple of Mother's Days wrong, so what do you want for Mother's Day this year?" without thinking twice I replied, "I want to be skinny!"

Now, what I didn't realize at that moment was that SKINNY was just a piece of the puzzle. 

I wanted to be skinny.

I NEEDED me time.

I NEEDED energy.

I NEEDED clarity.

MY TRANSFORMATION began in that first 30 days. I signed on with a coach and started eating clean. I watched EVERYTHING my coach did, and tried to mimic it. I started my own clean eating group, and invited every woman I knew to join me. I started portioning my meals. I started talking to more people. I researched clean eating and pinned a bunch of recipes and went back into the kitchen, this time with the intention of overhauling my pantry and fridge and feeding my family clean and healthy foods, instead of making baby food.

I was hooked.

Clean eating gave me energy and stamina.  It gave me CLARITY.   I didn’t have that afternoon slump like I used to.  I used to take a nap every afternoon while my kids slept on the weekends and fell asleep on the couch as soon as we got home during the week.  This new way of life helped me jump start my weight loss and shed even more pounds.  I replaced bulky, cumbersome homemade shakes and overnight oatmeal that I couldn't eat one-handed in the car with systems that helped me grab a nutritious meal in the morning quickly.  

Now, I get up at 5:00 am to workout and eat intuitively.  I feel the best that I have ever felt in my life.  I lost 35 lbs, and I finally threw out all of my maternity pants and fit into clothes that I wore before the twins were born.  It was an amazing feeling to look in the mirror and love the person who I saw looking back at me!  

Here I was then:

And then tragedy struck.

My daughter had a seizure, and it fractured our cozy little systematized life into “BEFORE” and “AFTER”. I took a nosedive.  

It was difficult to be around my children. I was constantly terrified that SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN and that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. That’s when I got myself into intensive therapy. Around this time I also noticed the weight piling back on. The exhaustion creeping back in. In the midst of all of this personal turmoil, I started a dual masters degree program. I was determined to be able to help OTHER women who had been where I had been in the BEST way possible. But I just wasn’t feelin’ it.

Mentally, I was exhausted.

Physically, I just couldn’t handle it.

Emotionally, I was drained.

I started having panic attacks and heart palpitations. I began waking up in the middle of the night and lying awake for hours, even though I was SO tired. I went for blood tests. Nothing. I suspected adrenal fatigue, but could not find a doctor to treat me.

So I figured it out on my own.

Here I am NOW:

Happier.  Healthier. No more hiding. 

Jessica Groff, Jane and Emma's Mom, Hershey's Wife, Holistic Nutritionist, Daughter, Friend.

So, what are you waiting for? Life will not stop and wait for YOU to be ready. There is never a GOOD time. Your health is waiting. YOU are waiting.

When will you realize that your TRANSFORMATION can start TODAY?

If I can do it, SO CAN YOU. Ditch the excuses.  Join me. TODAY.